President overthrown in Djumburo

DEUSTCHE PRESS-AGENTUER

28 August, Kota Bora: Troops have overthrown the first democratically elected government of Djumburo as problems spiral out of control in the African nation. The coup leaders say the cabinet and parliament have been abolished, but power will be returned to the people once the country solves its socioeconomic crisis. Trouble has been brewing in the tiny island nation of Djumburo in the Indian Ocean ever since the democratically elected government headed by Emmanuel Jinzi came to power a year ago.

The army occupied all major government buildings and closed down all major shopping centres in the capital Kota Bora. The T.V. stations broadcasted a live address by General Arnold Brinza in which he denounced the government of Jinzi for being corrupt, feudal, and communalist. The country has seen communal riots increasing daily with the majority ethnic Africans attacking business interests of the minority ethnic Chinese and Indian traders. The commander-in-chief of the army General Arnold Brinza declared himself the president and his aide Ramon Francis as the Prime Minister. In the four hour long speech the general outlined the new economic strategies and social engineering policies that the new government will implement in the coming few months. Djumburo has been badly affected by the global credit crunch, its main aid donor Mozambique has already filed for bankruptcy in the IMF.

INTERNATIONAL CONDEMNATION

The UN and most African nations have condemned the act of overthrow as the murder of democracy, the end of a republic, and Africa’s misery. The UN General Secretary Ban Ki Moon in a telephone interview to the CNN said “I am deeply saddened by the events in the African nation. The democratically elected government had all the political legitimacy to be in power, and this beastly act by the army ought to be condemned. What Africa needs now is food and peace not coups and violence. The UN assembly will convene a general meeting once President Bush is back from his overseas visit”.

Known for his staunch liberal values, the general is widely regarded among the people as the saviour and the best president Djumburo never had. The general has taken an oath to lift Djumburo out of poverty and corruption. The general said the martial law will be lifted once the leaders of the erstwhile government are executed and assured the people that the power will be returned to them in no time. With the news of the overthrow, thousands of Djumburites took to the streets and celebrated with shooting bullets into the air.

BLEAK FUTURE

Given the political volatility of the country even the most optimistic of the political observers suggest the military regime has no clue the gravity of the problems that Djumburo is facing. It will require a considerable amount of international support if the army aims to achieve its targets and judging by the response from the UN and the world nations it seems that Djumburo’s problems will have few takers.

DPA-

Financial Inclusion in Urban Areas

I did my summer internship as a Young Scholar at RBI Thiruvananthapuram. As a part of the internship I had to do a project on the topic Financial Inclusion in Urban Areas. Please note that it was one of my first efforts at creating a professional report so it might not be a publishable material and may contain mistakes. URL: FINANCIAL INCLUSION IN URBAN AREAS

Frustrations of a non-vegetarian environmentalist….

It’s August 2008, it has been a long 3 years of struggle for me. My friends still call me a pessimist, although I have always seen myself as a realist. The world hasn’t got much better either, in fact things have took a turn for the worst with spiralling oil and food prices, and an economy showing signs of recession. A big relief is the recent news of the Left withdrawing support to the UPA, after 4 ½ years of refusing to release the hand-brake on the govt, it has finally decided to call it a day. Then there is global warming and environmentalism. A subject I’ve had intense introspection for the past few months and a subject I would like to raise here.

Thank God for Al Gore, for if it wasn’t for him and his blockbuster documentary we would be swimming in neck deep water by now. Before I start, I would like to say that this post is not about throwing brickbats at the greens. I would like to say that I respect nature and I do accept the gravity of the problem of global warming. My cynicism at the greens or pseudo-greens (in case you are offended) is the fact that they have lost their way and sense of purpose due to too much emotion and very little Science. They turn to vegetarianism, start wearing t-shirts with MESSAGES written on them, and rubbish all corporate stuff. All good, coz all of it is politically correct. But, I say that turning yourself into a vegetarian isn’t going to help the world in any way. Vegetarianism (Vegans are no separate species of vegetarians, FYI) is the most obvious choice that a neo-environmentalist makes. I would like to tell them that our beautiful planet just doesn’t work like that. One animal dead is another animal’s food. It’s really basic high school Biology. We humans have literally screwed up our thinking, so we feel that by not eating Chicken and Beef, the Tigers in Ranthambore could be saved from poachers.

I wouldn’t advocate that humans should start to eat their dead relatives, but everything in life has to have a balance, especially with food. Instead of turning into Vegetarianism, try to control one’s diet and balance it with required carbohydrates, protein, vitamins and the taboo word for greens FAT (Fat is just as imperative for the body as any other vital nutrition). Environmentalism should be with a purpose and actions should be targeted at a particular end rather than doing it for the sake of doing it. Oh… One more thing…. Vegetarians, please stop Evangelizing. Respect the rights of the others to eat what they want to eat…

Newbies guide to RBI.

There is a white office, an imposing one I should say at Bakery Junction, Thiruvananthapuram. It’s the RBI regional office for Kerala and the Lakshadweep, the building you have been looking for. You notice that the people there wear identity cards which resemble the ones that the IT professionals wear (the plastic identity card hanging from a blue chord is supposed to represent POWER). They walk in everyday with their briefcases and hand bags full of confidential information. Follow them till the main building where you will be asked to show you card. Promptly show your card, if it’s not plastic you might have to stay a bit longer. There is an airport style security which scans every single Rupee or any other foreign currency that you might have. If you happen to bring anything else like a screw driver, or a nut, or a laptop, or a C.D., or a Hard disk to steal the data, or your daughter’s braces accidently then you have to register at the desk. After which you have to undergo an even more rigorous scanning process. By this time, you wish you had brought the nuclear bomb you sold during last week’s garage sale.

Finally after an hour of security guards almost molesting you, you get in. There are notices on the notice board dating back to your childhood, word of the day IPs that you wouldn’t find in any dictionaries. You find that the cubicle is the only respite from terror. You start the computer, and find that the computer is locked, and so is the internet. Nothing works, Orkut is blocked, so is Youtube and it’s the same for most of the other culturally corrupting sites. Yet, when you peek into next guy’s comp. you will get the shock of your lifetime. Relax, the dude is looking at some interesting pictures, smile to him and act as if you hadn’t seen anything. Next wait for the 10:30 coffee, try to count the number of seconds it takes for the coffee to come to your table or guess the colour of the flask in which the coffee arrives. You will be amazed at how fast the time flies in RESERVE BANK OF INDIA. Then it’s another two hours before lunch, try guessing the number of plates that would be kept in a North-East direction, or the number of glasses which are unclean. Then it’s time for lunch. Steal your chicken piece or any non-veg item before it’s stolen by another chap. Avoid drinking water in the glasses unless you want to taste the buttermilk the previous user had. Eat your food in peace and gently exit the place without making any noise. This way you wouldn’t earn the wrath of the people when they are at their worst temper.

Come back to your cubicle and wait for the 2:30 coffee. Calmly proceed with what you are doing, even if it’s sleep. The warm smell of coffee will sure wake you up. Take your time in drinking it, because you wouldn’t have anything else to do for another 2 ½ half hours. Rush to the lobby at around 5:15 before the crowd comes. Here, you might have to pass through the same security rituals that you had done in the morning but this time the security guards are too lazy to check you properly. They let you go in no time. You are out, free from the clutches of the white leviathan. Run for your lives if you are sane, or stay back and admire the office where you now proudly work at.

P.S.: I have nothing against RBI or any other central bank for that matter.

5 supercars I would die for

5. Porsche 911 Turbo: If you can’t figure out why I have put the car in my list, go and hang yourself. You are not worthy of living in this planet.
4. Lamborghini Diablo: The Lamborghini with its supercar pedigree came up with one of the best looking supercars in the motoring planet, the Diablo. The Diablo represents in some way or the other the quintessential supercar for every 6 year old at heart.

3. McLaren F1 GTR: The Mclaren for almost 17 years was uncatchable, it was really in every sense faster than any bullets and a hell of a lot louder than any machine guns. The sexy driving position and the looks make it one of my favourite supercars. Is there anything in the world that could beat the McLaren?? There is one car in this list which can (Hint: Look at 1 ).

2. Ferrari Scuderia: Light, Sleek and fast, based on the F430 but can match up to anything that the Enzo can throw at it. The Scuderia was released to compete against the Gallardo Superleggera and Porsche RS models. It sure has matched up to the challenge. One brilliant bit of engineering to look at. Gosh these Italians know how to design their cars.

1. Koenigsegg CCX: It is something that God himself can’t describe. It is faster than the fastest lightning, lighter than the lightest feather, sexier than well no…. it isn’t that sexy, but it is insanely powerful. The CCXR can develop approximately 1018 Bhp, which is 18 more than the Veyron which requires an a mamooth engine and fans to belt out a thousand horses.

Ah… Finally managed to write a blog in the last month of the sem……… Don’t blame me for not writing blog entries blame my laziness!

*Note: The above title doesn’t mean that the author of this blog has any interest in dying for a car that he so desperately wants. It is an expression to suggest to the reader how much the author of this blog loves cars. This in no way means the author is susceptible to commit suicide if you or your friends offer him a Lamborghini. Although he will change his decision if you or you friends offer to rename Ferrari S.p.A in his name.

New version of G-Wiz released.

I got some new info that there is a new version of G-Wiz called the G-Wiz i which is supposedly better than the older G-Wiz with some Lotus package to increase safety (Go the info from a new comment for my Reva blog) . Crash test video is on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKbVOe7q4Dc

Top Gear still rocks!

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The car still looks uber ugly… These guys never learn.

Saarang

Saarang was ok I guess. Didn’t try for any volships or any coordships. Gen too lethargic these days. I did go for the Decibels and the Rock Show. The first band at Decibels called the “Slain” sounded really professional but a bit Christian and preachy. The rest of the bands were mediocre and some were well, a real pain to listen to. I did like the band from Mumbai, mostly because they played 2 RATM covers. Lucky Ali, Karthik Show was supposedly good but I didn’t go.

Ah, the Rock show…. Well, Firebrands (from Singapore) were really give up (Sucked big time, actually) but they did play a few covers (Pink Floyd, Deep Purple, Linkin Park and RATM). The lead guy turned out to be of a Tamil Orgin and did look kinda scary. The Delhi band Prestorika was far ahead of Firebrands. They played Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Pantera and a few give-up own-comps. The heavy sound of the guitar was only broken by the voice of the lead guy asking the crowd “Are you having some fucking fun?” Prestorika takes a five year old’s perfect hearing and destroys it till becomes like that of your Grandma’s (no kidding).

I did design a couple of shields for the Informal guys (with my name on it – self-promotion) and a poster for the Saarang Village. Well, I have to get back to work. There is a lot of work to do, at least I think there is.

The Trip of a Lifetime

Mahabalipuram or Mamalapuram is a small seaside town located some 50 kms from Chennai. Not a lot unless one wanted to cover the entire distance two-n-fro on a bicycle, like we did. We accomplished it on the Sunday of 13^th January 2008 which also happened to be my laptop’s first birthday. There were 7 of us on the journey, all from the mighty Tamraparani hostel. We left for Mahabs at around 4:30 A.M. It was pitch black, the moon was nowhere to be seen. We somehow got onto the East Coast Road, hereafter referred to as the ECR. I felt the pain of cycling in the first 30 minutes itself, my butt was aching like anything because of the stupid seat. Anyhow we cycled on and on often losing sight of others and finding them again at the side of the road waiting for us.

On our way we overtook two runners on their way to Mahabalipuram, thinking that we will leave them in the dust. I had the first breakdown (infact I had all the breakdowns) when my chain came loose. Fearing for the worst I told our captain Ritu that the chain was broken, he stopped and shouted “We are doomed for all our lives, our journey ends here. Our skeleton will forever lie here, touched only by the monsoon and the sea breeze. Far from humanity, far from civilization we the brave men of Tamraparani lay our lives here with pride and glory.” (Suitable exaggerations added).Fortunately, the chain was not broken and our captain Ritu had the expertise to fix it real fast. We continued on cautiously (ok, only me) the next stretch of the journey was from the Toll booth to Kovalam. By this time the runners had overtaken us and in a few minutes we overtook them again. It was still dark the sun was some hours away, we depended more on guess and good luck hoping that we wouldn’t get into an accident or go over a sudden speed bump. I almost crashed into a crazy old man who was sitting at the end of a bridge fagging his way to ecstasy.

We stopped for a morning tea at a tea shop in Kovalam at around 6:00 a.m. We ordered our tea and sat by the road to take some much needed rest for our legs and sore buttocks. It took the chap about 3o mins to make 7 teas and by the time we got it the runners had overtaken us again. The tea tasted awful, leading to a conspiracy on the origin of the milk. Few of the guys said it was buffalo’s milk, I thought it was Goat’s milk but it was Snake’s suggestion that left us in disgust (can’t really put it here). We had by the time covered around 30 kilometres from the insti, and we decided to cover the next 20 kms non-stop. As usual Arbit (Shivraj Negi – dunno his real name) was on a roll and left us in a desperate attempt to keep up. The morning sun had just started to come out. It was a beautiful sight to see the morning sun and the sea from the elevated road. We passed the Crocodile Bank, deciding we will pay a visit to the crocs while coming back. Soon, the sign read single digits and we started to close in on Mahabs. Then all of the sudden two Hyundai Accent police cars screeched past us, followed minutes later by His Excellency M.Karunanidhi’s motorcade of about 20 cars. He would have probably laughed at our pathetic situation, who knows.

By this time our rivals (I haven’t mentioned about them because they weren’t that significant’ and hmm… also, we lost because of the stupid chaiwala) had reached Mahabalipuram and were having their morning grub. Then, in all the pain and suffering, just like an oasis stood the sign board “MAMALLAPURAM”. Just then my cycle broke down again, the chain came of loose. It was Ritu to the rescue once more but this time it wasn’t that serious. We got back on our bikes and headed for the town looking for a restaurant called the ‘Moon Rakers’ that our dearest friend Sutta (Nikhil) had recommended to us. By good luck (as we later found out) the restaurant wasn’t open, so we went to the ‘Blue Elephant’ (Hmm…. Wonder where the people get the names from). We had toast in some form or the other and sat on the comfy chairs extending our legs. We had done it, we did the unthinkable and it was time that we make calls to some of our pessimistic friends.

After the delicious breakfast (more so because we were starving by the time we reached there) we went to see the Krishna’s butterball and took some pics. It was really boring, there is nothing to describe except that it looks surreal. We met up with guys who arrived by bus and they looked even more tired than us. Some chaps wanted to go to the five rathas and four of us (me, Ritu, Snake and Kutti) decided to go to the beach and rest. We got to this seaside restaurant/shack and sat there for about 2 hours gen, peacefully wasting time. We did go to the shore temple. It was 10 bucks for entry for Indians and 250 for the foreigners which I thought was really unfair besides it creates an impression that we are really despos. Unfortunately, my friends didn’t share the same views as me. We went around exploring the temple really quickly, discovering that they had done a good job of renovating the structure and then it was time for lunch.

Taking Sutta’ recommendation into consideration we went to the restaurant called ‘Moon Rakers’. For 90 rupees I had the costliest and by far the worst chicken Biriyani I have ever had in my life. The tomato soup tasted like barf, only the shrimp was good. They had posters on all walls saying “NO LIQUOR” but they openly served beer to the white folks (not being racist here). We left the Rakers broke and headed for the sea. Few of us got excited and started playing in the water and some of us just sat around the beach and later went hunting for seashells (we did get quite a few good ones). The waves were really powerful, pounding against the rocks. Some guys thought it would be even better if they were even more broke and took a ride on a boat to see the six temples near or under the sea. According to me, they were really taken for a ride, wasting 75 rupees for 5 minute boat ride.

We left Mahabs at around 3:30 pm (there was nothing else to do) and continued our journey back. We stopped at the Crocodile bank. It was good to see reptiles and snakes (my fav kinda animals) but there was no venom extracting show by the Irulas which me (stupid grammar check wants to replace me with I) and my friend Kutti were looking forward to. It was our juniors (AC/DC, Kinky and Arbit) that really inspired us to go there. I must say the crocs looked a bit lethargic and bored probably from so much attention that they get. We had covered the park in record time and joined the guys waiting outside to resume our journey. The police stationed there were really helpful, at first they managed to get ourselves exempted from the parking fees and later they literally stopped the traffic on the road to let us crocs. The next stretch was the longest and the best we reached the Toll Booth in record time. After which things got boring, except few guys waved at us and some took pics and videos and my cycle chain came loose again….. The last stretch was through the suburbs and Tiruvanmiyur, which was the worst and the hardest part of the trip and on top of that the traffic had to be stopped to let our honourable Chief Minishter Karunanidhi go back to his office. We were praying for our lives while we were cycling, it was like the chaos theory on wheels around us. Somehow we made it back to the insti, we were too tired to even rejoice at our achievement.

The trip was more about achieving something rather visiting Mahabalipuram. We were determined to prove our critics wrong. Although we were tired, exhausted and our buttocks numb there was always something that kept us going. It was not only a sense of achievement or victory but also the spirit of human endeavour and the willingness to challenge our limits which have made us, the humans the dominant race on the Earth. Men come and go and achieve things, but it is those who go that extra bit to achieve something even higher that makes them special. We have done exactly that on our trip to Mahabs, we may not be remembered by anybody years from now nor we intend to be, but we have succeeded at least in inspiring ourselves or even a few around us with it. Ok, I should stop being preachy now. And to sum it all up a few last words to two guys really close to us – $%#$ #@# Sutta, #$## @&* Mika.

P.S: The author has no political affliation. The author has high regard for Karunanidhi and doesn’t intend to hurt the political sensibilities of the DMK supporters.

The end of Netscape

For those who started browsing in the late 90s need not introduction of the mighty Netscape. Netscape emerged from another browser called Mosaic which was the incidentally first Graphical web browser (MOSAIC and Netscape had the same Co-author). In the mid-1990s it had a user share of over 90%, which now stands at less than 1%. The downfall of Netscape can be attributed to two reasons – IE and AOL. Like all monopolists Microsoft started to worry about the success of Netscape, so they decided to exterminate them. It bought the Internet Explorer from Spyglass Inc (they didn’t want to waste time developing a new browser). Soon, Microsoft started to ship its IE with Windows as a part of the OS. This was the beginning of the legendary browser wars. Netscape and IE fought against each other in a fierce battle to gain the cyberdom. They released versions after versions, not caring much about fixing the bugs and loopholes. It was like the Edison-Tesla feud in the early 1900s. By 1998, Netscape began to realize that it was a losing battle. It couldn’t compete with a large corporation like the Microsoft. Soon, IE became the most dominant web browser and Netscape was sold to AOL for $4.2 billion. Well, AOL is known for screwing things up (Time Warner AOL-read Wiki) and things were no different with Netscape. They kept on releasing versions of the browser that nobody now cared about and the latest is the Netscape Navigator 9. Few days back I read an article in the BBC that

AOL is discontinuing developments for Netscape beginning this February. This means that it is the end of the road of the once mighty Netscape (although, you can consider it to be clinically dead for years now). My first introduction to the world wide web was using a Netscape Navigator, to be more precise on a Netscape Navigator 4. I used to browse in Altavista and Yahoo for hours discovering the endless world of worldwide web (Google hadn’t gained popularity at that time). Netscape was far better than the IE version that was bundled with the Windows OS. Soon like the millions of others I also shifted to IE, for no apparent reasons. Nobody knew that new versions of Netscape were actually being released. Microsoft thought it had won the battle, gaining a maximum user share of 96%. Well, as history goes it was not to be.A new competitor emerged from the ashes of Netscape, the

FIREFOX. The firefox had started the second browser wars. With the ease of use and better features like addons, tabbed browsing (borrowed from Opera) it started to win users. The war continues to this day with Firefox 2.0 and Microsoft with IE 7 trying to win higher user share. As of November 2007, Firefox has a market share of almost 17% and growing at a steady rate.Another

new entrant to the browser war is Apple’s Safari 3 beta. It is one browser that is worth trying. Everything about Safari is sexy (the interface, the text box, just about everything). It is supposedly twice as fast as IE and is also faster than the Firefox. The only sore point about Safari for windows is that it doesn’t support Gmail (for some apparent reason). Otherwise it is a good browser. Opera is another browser worth looking at if you are looking at a replacement for IE and Firefox, although it is more popular as Opera Mini for Mobile devices nowadays. End Note: This post is a homage to the Netscape Navigator browser. May your soul continue to live on and may your successor Firefox dethrone the stupid Piece Of Shit IE as the most used browser.
P.S.: Safari is sexier than IE, and Firefox.

Made with

Revving Up!!!

You will agree that the Reva G-Wiz isn’t the prettiest car to look at. Infact, it could be one of the ugliest you have ever seen. The fact is that it is the highest selling electic car in the history of automobiles and it is Indian. The Reva is manufactured by a company called Maini in Bangalore (Must be some ulti studdax company run by nerds who don’t care much about spending time or money on the car design). They are mostly exported to Europe, where they are a hit with environmentalists and pseudo environmentalists.Vital Stats (Taken from Wikipedia)

Length:	2.6 m
Width:	1.3 m
Height:	1.5 m
Range	80 km
Maximum Speed	70 km/hr
Seating	Two adults and two children

Although the figures show a maximum speed of 70 km/hr most Revas will never live to see the magical figure. Revas are intended for city use not for highway, so there is no need for a high performance engine (motor in this case). But, what about seating capacity? Anybody who has taken one look at the pic will know that it can barely carry a single middle aged woman. So, if you are buying a Reva for the whole family, it is better that you go for a conventional gas guzzling car. So, by now you would have realized that it is absolutely impractical to use. It can take up to 8 hours to charge and would only last about 1 1/2 hours. If you are still insistent on reducing your carbon footprint, then I suggest you go for a Toyota Prius.

Reading this you might think why I picked this car. Well, because an important event happened in Reva’s career. See, when it was exported to Europe, the guys at Maini did not know that there was such a thing called crash tests that had to be conducted before a vehicle went into production. Since, it was an electric car or quadricycle as they are called in the west, it was exempted from most of these tests. But some chap in England reported that the car had serious safety issues. A test was conducted by the UK Department of Transport at a constant speed of 40 km/hr (that is the normal speed in a city). To their horror they found that the car splintered into pieces upon collision. The guy/gal sitting in the car would be dead meat for sure. The car seem to be made out of thermocol and plastic. The door panels and the front hood fly in the air once the car is hit. The driver (presumably dead by then) becomes a projectile with or without the seat belt. They found out that most cycles have more safety features than this car. Once cars pass the test they are given a score of stars on the scale of 5 stars. Most cars get 3 stars while some cars get 4 (like Saab, Renault Espace,etc). The UK department of Transport found it hard to give this car even a one star, because it just doesn’t deserve anything.

Here is the video of the crash test (Warning: Viewer Discretion is advised)

Outcomes? The car is exempted from all crash tests, so Maini can continue selling their cars in UK. Hmm…It remains to be seen how many people will continue to buy the car knowing that it has failed the tests in every criteria. Warning to pedestrians: You will cause more damage to the car than the car to you, so please keep you distance as a Reva zips (like it will ) past you. The driver of the car might take you to the court for damaging his/her car. People still enthusiatic about the car can pay a visit or a homage to: www.revaindia.com or search on Google for more info.

Well, so much for going green!

[The writer has nothing against hybrid or electric cars, but wrote this article in the interest of public safety. The writer strongly supports all activities intended at protecting the Earth and the wildlife.]